It's Not You, It's Me
by LiverQuiver
Summary: The five words I promised myself I would never say. They were far too cheesy, and no matter how you said it, the person on the receiving end knew that it was a lie. An AkuRoku day fic. AkuRoku with onesided Roxas/Kairi


**.A/N.  
**An early AkuRoku Day fic.  
So I've been really behind on On the Catwalk 101.  
You guys still interested in that fic? Cuz if not, I don't think I'll continue it.  
Anyways. I feel that this is the only night I'll have time to write this, so I did it.  
It's almost three in the morning, so forgive me if it... you know... sucks.

**.Disclaimer.  
**I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of it's characters.

* * *

"It's not you, it's me."

The five words I promised myself I would never say. They were far too cheesy, and no matter how you said it, the person on the receiving end knew that it was a lie. And pay no heed to anyone that tells you otherwise, that sentence is, indeed, a _lie_. I was using a lot of those to break up with Kairi without hurting her feelings.

Because it _was _her, not me. It was her and her girlish figure, the way she popped out her hip when she stood still, and her petite frame. It was her big, blue eyes that held too much innocence, and her soft auburn hair that just wasn't red enough. It was how it was too easy to make her giggle and blush, and it was her chest that always seemed to get in the way when I hugged her.

It was her and her girly self. Not. Me.

But I wouldn't dare tell Kairi that. No, I loved Kairi. She was my childhood friend, my secret-keeper, the girl who always had my back when it seemed that the rest of the world didn't. I just didn't love her in the way she wanted me to.

So there we were, standing in the middle of her living room, trying to hold ourselves together while ignoring the muffled music from behind her brother's bedroom door. Kairi stared in disbelief at me, her eyes beginning to water at the corners. I found myself not knowing what to do. Should I try to comfort her? Tell her "there's plenty of fish in the sea" or some crap like that? Or should I just leave and save her the humiliation of having to endure this break-up any longer?

And then a thought struck me. Maybe it _wasn't_ her, and it _was_ me.

Maybe it was me being too emotional to be the rock in our relationship. Maybe it was me being too in touch with my feminine side at times. Maybe it was me cancelling most of our dates to secretly play Halo with her older brother at my house.

Kairi began to get red in the face and failed to keep herself from crying. Fat tears of self-pity crawled down her cheeks and dripped from her chin and she lunged forward to grip onto my checkered tee-shirt.

"R-Roxas! Please-!" Her voice came out in sobs and she clinged tighter. I looked to the floor, not wanting to see her cry. "I love you! You can't...!"

I didn't answer her. I just let her hold onto me and have her cry. We must have been standing there for just under ten minutes when I heard her brother's music shut off and his door swing open.

"What's going on, hm?" Axel asked in a low growl, eyes darting from me, to his little sister, and back again.

I looked up after hearing his voice and instantly knew that it _was_ me, and I wanted the world to know. I wanted to push Kairi away from me and scream "It's not you, it's _me_!" over and over again until I lost my voice, because this time it wasn't a lie. It was the truth. And it was my fault I had to put her through this.

It was all my fault I preferred Axel's relaxed, almost arrogant stance over the way Kairi stood. It was my fault I liked the sly green of Axel's eyes more than the honest blue of Kairi's, and the way his red hair was a few shades brighter than his sister's. It was my fault that I loved nothing more than hearing him talk to me in the laid-back voice he had, and it was all my fault that I'd rather be held by Axel than to hold Kairi.

Kairi must have felt my heart quicken its pace, because she stopped sobbing to lift her eyes to mine, which were intently focused on Axel's. Her breath caught when she noticed the blush creeping on to my face, and the look of adoration that I never gave to her. The girl looked confused, but that quickly turned to shock when she saw the lustful stare that her brother gave to me. She pushed me away roughly and stomped off to her room, torn between being angry and devastated.

My thought process changed again when Axel began to approach me.

_It's not me, it's you._

The older boy roughly shoved me against the wall and pressed his mouth against mine in a bruising kiss.

_It's you and your girlish figure, and your girlish voice, and your girlish face, and your __**just being a girl.**_

I snaked my arms around Axel's neck and granted entrance when his tongue almost forced its way past my lips. We didn't halt when we heard Kairi's soft cries from behind her bedroom door. I wanted to go and comfort her and tell her I was sorry because she was still my friend, and I cared deeply for her. But I wasn't sorry, because there was nobody I wanted to be with at that moment than Axel. Besides, she needed some time to herself for a while.

Break-ups were never easy, after all.

* * *

**.A/N.  
**Tell me whatchoo think, yes?  
Happy (early) AkuRoku Day!


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